What is a “me” ?

Ever since the beginning of humanity, the meaning of “self” is being debated. If you haven’t thought of it yet, I assure you, some day you will. I have always been someone that felt a lot, saw a lot and understood a lot. I knew there were questions that were hunting me; but I was never able to give a name to them.

Now, I know what those questions are: What am I & why am I the way I am?

I wonder if my “self” is created through forced thoughts from the outside world, or if it is just my soul. Am I living the life I truly want, or am I living the life society wants me to live?


For now, I am trying to see the concepts of self & mind as described in Freud’s structural model of the psyche. In his definition, there are 3 constructs that interact in our mind. First is the id, a person’s roughest & most instinctual desires; second the ego, the more realistic part that mediates the id; then there is the superego (formed in childhood), which pushes down the desires, so that the ego can turn into more realistic wishes.

I don’t know for sure if there are 3 or more constructs that affect the building of “self”, but I believe that there are at least two sides to a humans thoughts. One that wishes his instinctual pleasures to come to life and the other, holding him back from making these wishes come true. I choose to call this “other”, the society.Untitled

In my opinion, sadly, most of who we are is formed to please society’s needs and wants. We are too scared to do something different only because it will make people talk or stare. We try to fit in. We observe the looks and behaviours which are popular at that time and act accordingly. You may not be like this, but I am pretty sure that you know at least 1 person who thinks like that. Now think that, that 1 person you know, represents millions of people in our world. It’s scary isn’t it? Millions of people acting in the same way, hiding who they really are. Instead of having a more colourful world with millions of different souls & thoughts, we have millions of pressured souls who are scared to be “the different one”.


I’m not pretty sure how we can break free of the pressure of society, but I believe, some day, we will. Though, for now, I want to encourage any of us that doesn’t feel free to do something that’ll make them truly happy, to do that thing. Even if it’s as small as eating a strange flavour of ice cream or going out with your pyjamas; just to feel even a little bit happier, do it.

I hope some day, we’ll all see that we are as free as the oceans and the skies; and that we are capable of creating that colourful world. ☀

(flower drawings are not mine)

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